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If you watched the Nickelodeon sitcom iCarly At the time, you’ll probably remember that Jennette McCurdy’s character, Sam Puckett, was known for his constant chatter about food.

Much of Sam’s personality centered around her eating habits, with the teenager regularly commenting on how hungry she was – or dangling her famous “butter sock” – over the show’s six seasons.

In fact, Sam’s food-related shtick has become so famous that Nickelodeon’s official “rewind” YouTube page is now home to several compilations dedicated to all common jokes.

However, as the actor himself eventually revealed, Jennette was essentially the opposite of her on-screen persona and actually had an incredibly complex relationship with food in real life.

Jennette, who was just 15 when she landed her role in iCarlyspent years talk about his experience suffering from multiple eating disorders during her adolescence.

And throughout his recently published memoirs, titled I’m glad my mother diedJennette further details her past struggle with anorexia, bulimia and binge eating, noting that her late mother, Debra McCurdy, was largely to blame.

Jennette writes that Debra not only forced her to pursue an acting career from a young age, but also shamelessly obsessed with her appearance, going so far as to teach her to limit calories when she only had 11 years old.

By the time Jennette had started acting in iCarlyshe already suffered from anorexia, which made her role as Sam Puckett’s actress all the more uncomfortable to contemplate.

Now, opening up about the reality of his time on the Nickelodeon show during a new interview with the hollywood journalistJennette, 30, admitted she struggled to portray a “food obsessed” character.

“At the time, I struggled with my character being so focused on food, given that I had a life-threatening eating disorder,” she said.

Describing her past as “truly tragic”, Jennette then revealed that she now finds the sheer irony of it all to be “hilarious”.

“Now I see him as the true gift of comedy gold that he is,” she said. “That kind of juxtaposition is absolutely my sense of humor, where there’s something really tragic that’s underlined by something really polished. It’s hilarious.”

Also, just a few weeks ago, Jennette revealed that she actually asked the iCarly producers to “call back” the food-related jokes surrounding her character, though she can’t bring herself to explain her reasoning to them.

“It made me so anxious because my character was constantly eating,” she said. the washington post August 5. “I tried to speak with the producers a few times, asking them if we could come back to this stuff.”

“I had kind of a reasoning like, ‘I think there’s so much more to Sam as a character, and I think she goes a lot deeper than that,'” she said. “But I wasn’t able to deal with the eating disorder on my own, so of course I wasn’t able to say, ‘Hey, I’m really struggling with this. So can’t we?

Jennette then recalled being constantly approached by fans who made jokes about her character’s eating habits. As the to interview notes, the show’s viewers would often shout, “Where’s your turkey leg?” towards the actor in public, or would randomly give him Sno Ball desserts – both references to some of Sam Puckett’s most famous storylines.

Of course, that made Jennette even more pissed off. “I started to feel like my life was laughing at me in every way,” she admitted. “They didn’t know what I was struggling with, but I felt like people were digging right into every fucking insecurity and trauma I had. It was just twisting the knife.

Elsewhere in her memoirs, Jennette recounts several other experiences on the iCarly together, including feeling incredibly uncomfortable during a kiss with co-star Nathan Kress.

Nathan played Sam’s eventual on-screen boyfriend, Freddy Benson, and the former two shared a kiss early in the series. While Jennette maintained that Nathan was super nice to her, she explains that she didn’t want her very first kiss to be filmed.

“My body is stiff. Unwavering. My body is rejecting my mind,” she wrote. “My mind is like, ‘It doesn’t matter if it’s your first kiss, if your first kiss is on camera. End with. Do as you are told.'”

“My body is like, ‘No, I don’t want that. I don’t want my first kiss to be like this. I want my first kiss to be a real first kiss, not a kiss for a TV show,'” she adds, before also recounting an unnamed character she calls ‘The Creator’ – who many assume is the show producer, Dan Schneider – demanding “more head movement” from him despite his discomfort.

If you have an eating disorder and need someone to talk to, the National Eating Disorders Association helpline is 1-800-931-2237; For 24/7 crisis assistance, text “NEDA” to 741741.